transgressings | inbox for duplicity;

You're not the first to have pointed that out, but I think sometimes experience can give us the knowledge that age is also capable of bestowing.

My only regret is that he disappeared shortly after granting me such a privilege. On the other hand, I never failed to let him know how dear he was to me, and I believed he knew it to be true within himself.

i agree
lived long enough to see it in a fair few
But its pretty rare
mortals aren't very good at it when given the chance

that's really all you can want with Dorian
and if he ever gave you that smile
The one you know is just for you.
after you told him your feelings?
Im sure he knew
gonna guess thats a common trait for them too

I suppose I had it before the turning, as those who knew me then can attest to, but I won't claim I never made mistakes either.

I'd never told him that I loved him at home, but we did offer the words to each other here. More had changed about our circumstances than when we first knew one another.

no one avoids all mistakes in life
Ive made plenty in mine
both as a boy and a monster
it's part of living
same as hurting people we love

thats a common theme here
we've all got new challenges to face
Some of us being marked and the whole ""owning"" each other thing
but we are free to ignore parts of the past
if were willing to look past it.
and focus on what we've got now

Life certainly isn't all about making mistakes. Or hurting others.

But you're right. Perhaps, to some extent, this is an opportunity to move forward in whatever way we choose to next.

it's not
but those are what define us most
other than those we love

if theres anything this place is good for
its opportunities for actually new things
mostly people but
There are still some exceptions
several very unexpected
as you well know from your own experience.
doubt you figured you'd be a vampire at any point in your life

...though I could be wrong???
i dunno people surprise me sometimes

I suppose. I try not to weigh one's mistakes against them, knowing how difficult it's been to surmount my own errors in the past.

I didn't expect it to be something that would transpire for me, no. Especially since the last vampire who attempted to turn me would have done it without my full consent.

thats probably wise
then again
Ive seen people get fucked for less when it comes to noticing that shit
always good to keep mistakes in mind

yeah that's
not so uncommon
too many are good at getting half consent at best
speaking from experience there
its shit
glad at least one of us round here got to pick it

I know I'm more fortunate in that regard. Not everyone who has been turned here has been afforded that same privilege.

[ she doesn't name names, though, not sure if she can disclose kyle's unique situation on his behalf. ]

I'm sorry your experience was not better.

don't be sorry
I killed him
my sire
he fucked with me after I came back from the dead
worse is he fucked with Dorian
Or tried to
so I ended him for it

I hope he forever rots in Hell

Well, I am sorry it came to that for you, but I won't begrudge you any feelings you might have had about needing to take those measures.

I'm not
he abandoned me the night after turning me and teaching me to hunt
Left me alone for near 300 years
him coming back into my life was narcissistic and self-serving
AND he tried to rip me away from Dorian
if he was still alive
I'd kill him again
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Forever a very sore point for him. He's petty enough to keep this grudge for the rest of his immortal life even when he knows Ivor's well and truly dead.]

It seems as though his turning you was done for similarly selfish reasons. It's why I wouldn't have gone willingly with the creature who tried to make me one of his before. He was doing it wholly to further his own power, rather than because he knew it was something I wanted. He didn't have anything to offer me in exchange over subservience.

selfish might be giving him too much credit
But yeah didn't give me the right kind of choice
its good you didn't get turned with one like that
because that shits important
I may think Graysons a bit much sometimes
okay a LOT
but he's got his head on straight about a few things
giving you the choice is one of them

Far be it from me to spare the dead from any unkind words.

[ but she thinks she has more of an understanding of him now, at least, and why he would have certain feelings towards those of their shared nature, given the circumstances of his turning. ]

I do have to afford him some credit. He did his best to stay away from me for as long as possible, but I didn't make it very easy for him to when I had my own interest.

oooooh???
do tell
if youre willing
now I'm curious

The story where we initially met over nude body painting, or when he ended up on my doorstep vomiting flowers because he couldn't stop thinking about me?

[ she's more amused by the memories now than anything else. ]

wait that second one
Hanahaki disease???
think i spelled that right
he seriously was so lovesick he was coughing up flowers??
Ive got to hear about that

[Yes he knows his romance tropes okay.]

I didn't realize there was an official name for it, or that it had been diagnosed as a condition.

He did seem to improve after getting certain sentiments off his chest, now that I think about it.

dunno if it was where your from
honestly not sure if it was a big thing where im from either
but it's a darkly romantic trope about unrequited love
so of course I found out about it
kinda my thing
being in love with the immortal bachelor who will never settle down and marry me like he goddamn should have

......
anyway
yeah once you confess it gets better
even better if your love ends up requited in the end
But lets be honest
not often that happens in fiction

I'd never even heard of it before, and previously had chalked it up to the city's machinations, nothing more.

I suppose it had symbolized some form of unrequited feeling, although he'd made a concerted effort to ignore what that meant at the time.

yeah thats usually why the flowers happen
love's unrequited
something happens to set off your wanting too strongly
it's a bloody romance serial trope
but I guess the city made it real???
which makes sense
Duplicity does that a lot

inbox for duplicity;

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cw: mentions of murder

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