transgressings | inbox for duplicity;

( if she really thought about it lilith would realise that this mild curiosity was typical of vanessa but her mind isn't clear, having expected the woman to pull away.

her gaze flicks down, the realisation of her own words catching up to her before she looks at vanessa because there's no going back now )

It's Lilith.

( the pause signifies more because who doesn't have a story but-- what does she do with it. tell it all, hint a little? she's told her truth before but this is a different situation, a different feeling for the person she's telling it to )

I-- There's a lot to tell you.

Lilith.

[ The name pings at the bells of her awareness but no more than that; she doesn't yet know if it holds any type of significance but she could very well guess that the reason this woman had for obstructing her real name is greater than anything than the desire to guard the truth. ]

Were you truthful, then, when you told me you were a witch?

[ She's witnessed that power time and time again, been made aware of Lilith's longevity, but it seems there is still much she hasn't been told. Still, she doesn't relinquish the grip of Lilith's hand in her own, thumb carefully smoothing along the soft edge. ]

Yes.

( she could say moee, that she's also a demon but considering vanessa's troubling affairs with them it feels more difficult to admit. perhaps telling her everything, leading into it with all of her story would make it simpler )

I was the first witch of my world.

Then I suppose not all of your story was a misdirect.

[ Because some of it she does know, that this woman has been alive for many years, has lived out a long existence, perhaps not an immortal one but rather close to it — and that is a concept that Vanessa has been introduced to through many people, not merely the woman sitting in front of her. ]

Is there more you did not share?

( this time the honesty does come because vanessa asks for it. and it surprises her that she's so willing to answer when lilith shares none of her tale usually or at least far less than this. but she also feels vulnerable, not solely because of what the archivist has done but because of vanessa, that this witch stirs emotions in her that she's long forgotten, that she wasn't certain she again could feel )

I have a long life, much of it I share to no one. ( the only people that did really know of her life were because they were from her world because her life was told of in the unholy bible )

But-- ( a quick gathering of thoughts. lilith knows that because of vanessa's faith that she'll at least recognise parts of it which is why she words it as she does, to let vanessa connect the dots ) The first place that I knew was-- a paradise. Somewhere supposedly perfect, created for me. For my husband.

( for him certainly and the wife that she was supposed to be but not who she was.

she starts with the hebrew name for it before then translating-- ) Eden.

[ It is not that she doesn't believe; perhaps it would be easier in the telling of it if she did not, but she has spent so much of her life immersed in stories that are only more than that to those who are willing to put their faith in them. One can read about the Almighty all they like but without that deeper understanding of Him, it will only be a story and nothing that holds any significant meaning.

The stroke of her thumb stills against the edge of that hand and she doesn't relinquish the contact altogether but there is a moment when it feels that the very air stops, changes around them; her brow furrows first in confusion and then in slowly growing realization as she begins to understand the magnitude of the moment, the significance of the woman who sits before her.

Of course, different interpretations of what some would consider a myth have persisted over the years, but some elements have remained constant regardless of the telling. ]

But you did not stay there.

I could not.

( even if she had not been banished it was not any place that lilith had really enjoyed, not for eden itself but the one she had to share it with. it made it difficult to appreciate the paradise )

I wanted something that they were unwilling to permit me. Equality.

( women were not made to be subservient. that was her belief -- her truth )

I suppose that would leave anyone unsatisfied with the place they believed they could occupy forever.

[ And even now, she thinks, one would not choose to leave paradise so readily unless there was a firm reason for it, though she doesn't pry into what the reason here might be — satisfied, seemingly, by the explanation that equal standing was longed for and yet denied. ]

Where did you go?

There was nowhere to go.

( not yet at least, not when the world itself was so new )

After the false god banished me-- I wandered the wilderness, a vast, wasteland. Years I spent there-- until another came.

( this is the part that lilith knows that vanessa will have trouble with but-- she tells it anyway. only witches of her world really understand but that's been their belief. not vanessa's )

Lucifer, fallen from Heaven.

[ It is a long time before she says anything at all, though she seems to understand that this is far from the end of the story — but rather, its own beginning. ]

Yes. He and I are... well-acquainted. As you've seen.

[ Though she hasn't gone into detail about her history with the deceiver, but she has also been tormented by many a demon, not just the ruler of them all. ]

You were also his desired?

( she's quiet for a moment, this becoming a heavy part of her life, particularly with what she's started realising over the more recent months )

For a long time, I believed so.

( she'd been with him for 6000 years and though he'd turned cruel long ago-- she'd believed in his plan )

But-- I was simply his handmaiden. Not what he'd promised.

[ She nods, understanding the deception, the empty promises, the reassurances of power before it all becomes obviously apparent that he would only use her as a means to an end.

It had been like that for her, once — not just the devil himself but the man purported to be his brother, the monster who had corrupted Mina, who had sought to make her his bride. Now, she sees that manipulation for what it truly was, his desire to use her to destroy the world. Her hand weighs Lilith's in her own, maintaining that light clasping. ]

And when you discovered what he truly was, what did you do?

( her gaze falls here and there's something similar to shame at what she feels, not for her actions over the years but really for how long it had taken for her to really accept that lucifer had never meant for her to ascend )

I still serve him.

( the words are quieter still before her head rises again, giving more to her answer )

I did until this place. ( it had begun to put things into more context for her, particularly with the knowledge that nick had delivered to her ) He had been all I'd ever known and-- I wanted what he promised.

( she still did but at least now lilith knows that she'll get it if just in a different manner than expected. perhaps in a way more satisfying. but she'd been taken in by him. lucifer had been kind and it had taken him transforming into the beast for that to begin to crack, for his darkness to be truly revealed. but she was lost by then -- in love, a promise in her future and her own destiny in mind. restore his angelic form and restore her lucifer to her.

some of that had fallen away over the years but she'd still been stuck. there had been no escape for her, she didn't need to try to know what would happen to her. the crown and throne may have kept her there but they were also more desirable, a light in the darkness that her life had been. and when she did well-- well, it made it easier to ignored everything else )

[ It is not so simple as simply freeing one's self from the influence of the dark master, the one who lures and seduces and tempts with promises that you will be treasured and worshipped in a way that your God cannot; she'd fought the spell of his power countless times but given in to it even more when he'd come to her in familiar forms and whispered words of desire and love, promising to devote himself to her always.

Of course, he is equally talented at deception, and she cannot determine if she feels more of a sympathy or an understanding — or perhaps even closer to a relief at the notion that Lilith had too been manipulated as she had, even if it had taken her slipping out from beneath his clutches to truly understand how she'd been misled.

And her hand smooths over Lilith's in silent acknowledgment for what she's experienced, so similar to her own history. ]

But he isn't here, is he?

( lilith hadn't expected vanessa to draw her in, not after her own unwelcome dealings with lucifer but it seemed that the woman was continuing to surprise her, drawing her closer, almost reassuring her )

He isn't.

( there was a technicality about that but there was no need to introduce that. she did have one piece of hope though )

He may not be anywhere for too much longer.

What do you mean?

[ It doesn't even seem like a fathomable possibility, that he could simply be nowhere, cease to exist just like that, but her voice seems to be holding that note of optimism, one that engenders a similar feeling of hope in her too — that maybe, just maybe —

She reels herself back with a small shake of her head, not wanting to completely dismiss the remark off-hand but still unwilling to believe it fully. ]

I don't see how that's even possible.

There's someone here from my future.

( the admission comes as a whisper, lilith's gaze coming slowly back to vanessa )

Who told me how we overthrow him. By imprisoning him.

( lilith won't say where considering that's here but they have a lot of magic guarding it )

Who?

[ The question leaves her before she fails to realize that Lilith may not necessarily want to disclose that information — and yet she has been fairly generous so far in offering her story, so perhaps it is not anything that needs to remain confidential. ]

To conjure enough to subdue him — the level of power that would take —

[ She cannot completely disguise the awe in her voice, as well as the concern. ] How do you know his prison will hold?

( it's a great deal of power, lilith knows this already before even engaging in it. but nick's assured her that the spell would hold and they've taken further precautions since. though in hell-- well, she'll come to that once she's lived it )

Because the human body is the strongest prison the false god created.

( yeah, it wasn't a great fate for anyone involved but-- )

They volunteered. For all of our sakes.

( and lilith will eternally respect nick for that because it isn't a good fate )

You —

[ No, it wouldn't have been her, but perhaps someone close to her, someone who would have been willing to use themselves as a vessel in order to contain him, and she doesn't know why that fills her with sudden dread but it does, the notion of the sacrifice that would entail.

She weighs it over with a small shake of her head, but then something else settles in her stomach, creeping concern. ]

And this volunteer. Are they here? Do they know the fate they have consigned themselves to? [ And if the vessel is here, in possession of that knowledge, wouldn't that mean that they have essentially brought him to this city with them? She can't disguise the worry in her face, the look that knits her brows together. ]

They're who told me of what we do.

( nick hadn't known who she was when she'd first arrived but much had come from his sleep, from the memories of his life that he'd gotten )

Lucifer won't walk here. We've taken precautions.

( and lilith knows she'd be one of the first he'd punish for her betrayal of him )

You'll forgive me if I still have my concerns.

[ About the possibility for what could happen, were he to escape; she won't pretend that she doesn't still harbor a deep worry in her chest, knowing the Lucifer that she does, knowing what he's capable of.

But she also knows she wouldn't be alone in facing him if it were to occur, and she sighs, glancing down at her hands. ]

But I've seen your strength. What you're capable of.

They're concerns that would be shared.

( for all of lilith's confidence there's a deep terror that runs through her at the thought of lucifer being free, of knowing of her betrayal and the other witches would be foolish if they weren't afraid )

But until that possibility occurs there is little more that we can do. I believe him contained and I'll act for that outcome.

Of course.

[ Many of them would have a price to pay were the unthinkable to happen, and she cannot forget that; her struggle against Lucifer had been a lonely one, back in her own world, but here it is a battle that she would not have to take up arms against alone. ]

And I believe your belief. [ She has no reason not to trust Lilith in this, not after everything. ]

( her hands reach across, grasping vanessa's, comforting )

He won't come for you.

( lilith would stop him before letting him go for someone she cared for )

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transgressings - 2020-02-14 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

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